the real reason not to drink and drive

as part of my probation for my dui, i had to attend a victim impact panel tonight. i mentally prepared myself for gut-wrenching horror stories and be told how horrible of a person i am for getting behind the wheel after drinking. i'm not complaining, it would be warranted.

instead, what i got, was a woman preaching about the goodness of the christian god and a police officer with poor grammar and even poorer judgment.

the woman's story was truly heartbreaking. a drunk driver had collided with her. she was in a coma for six weeks, sustained severe nerve damage to her wrists (she couldn't even lift them), broken both arms from holding onto the wheel, one knee now hyper-extends, amongst other things. she hit her head pretty badly, causing her to suffer from short term memory loss and she can no longer multi-task. the entire time she talked about how god got her through. she doesn't remember the crash and thanks god for not allowing to (it couldn't have anything to do with the fact that she suffered brain damage). she was going to have to get surgery to fix her arms and nerves in her wrists. she asked if she could go home for a week before her surgery. when she went in, her arms had healed and she was able to move her wrists, which she attributes to god. (again...nothing to do with the fact that she was in an environment she was happier in, and therefore more adept to heal). she also said that she was able to get through because she was "high from god's love" and because she kept her eye on god, not herself.

i was not a fan of the sermon she was giving. yes, her recovery is amazing. but it's amazing because it's a result of her will to live, not because of her belief in some moral compass in the sky. at this point, i completely checked out mentally, since i realized i wasn't going to get anything out of this obligatory meeting.

after watching a video of another victim, the moderator, who is a police officer, started to close the meeting. he said, and i quote, "i know probation and jail don't work. i know this program don't work. i don't think we'll ever be rid of drinking and driving. the laws are getting tighter, but our jails are so full, that you'll never get jail time unless you're a repeat offender. i've done it before, i even drank and drived while being involved in this program. i know it's wrong. i don't know that we'll ever stop. but i came across this article that said 5,555 children died from drunk driving over 10 years. 64% of them were in the car with the drunk driver. so if nothing else...let's do it for the kids. i mean, you can't not love a kid. so let's do it for them"

uh. seriously? you're really going to stand there and tell me that this is a waste of time and that you know it's a waste of time? then you're going to encourage me to not do it again because of KIDS?! i hate kids. they're germy, annoying and gross. i only like my neighbor's kids bc they're still in the cute phase, though the oldest one is growing out of it. but don't feed me this "the children are our future" bullshit. that won't keep people from drinking driving. i'll tell you what will.

money.

this dui is the most expensive thing i've ever had to deal with. let's run down the costs, shall we?
lawyer fee - $1,200. i only met with him 1 time before my trial. my trial had to be postponed because he had another trial on the same date as mine. he then arrived to mine late, left halfway through only to re-appear in the nick of time.
fines/court costs - $1,000. $650 of that was suspended since the judge gave me probation before judgment. if i get another traffic violation, this includes speeding, i will have to pay that $650, on top of whatever other fine i would get and possibly go to jail. so $350 in fines, 57.50 in court costs amounting to $407.50 that was due by 4pm of the day of my trial.
probation - $95 a month for 11 months totalling $1,140. oh and they only accept money orders or certified checks, nothing online. so i can either spend about $15 to get my personal check certified by the bank each month, or go to the atm, take out $100 and spend less than a dollar for a money order. either way, it's a hassle for me.
stamps - i think i paid $8.40 for the book of stamps that i need for my monthly payments, since they don't accept anything online. which i had to wait in line for, because post offices no longer offer stamp kiosks, since they are about to go under.
gas - well i don't have an exact figure. but every month, i have to go to the post office to drop off my monthly payment, that needs to be in by the third week of the month. this doesn't include the gas i used to make trips to my lawyers office, the court house, sheriff's office, probation office.
social drinkers program - i paid about 100-200 for a 6 week program that did absolutely nothing.
victim impact panel - $10. only cash or money order.

that's only the monetary expenses. this doesn't take into account all the hours i spent panicing about what was going to happen, crying, freaking out about going to jail, etc. i also would've lost my license had it not happened while i lived in one state, then moved to another in the process. however, this meant that i had to change my license to a md, which cost 40. i also have to get my tags switched over, which i have yet to do bc it will cost me $800 just to get my car fixed to pass md's inspection. to get my md tags, i'll have to pay $42

but you will never hear about all the fines you'll incur because the cops need the money. fact is, most dui's don't result in fatalities. if you drink and drive, chances are you WILL NOT cause injury to someone else. however, you will get pulled over. no one ever stops drinking and driving on their own, it's always because they got caught. i know that i would still be doing it if i hadn't gotten pulled over.

so yes, i am thankful that i got my wake up call before i caused damage to another person's life. however, had i heard about how poor i would end up being as a result of drinking and driving, i wouldn't have done it in the first place. the whole "you could kill someone" is a concept that is so far removed from our conscious. it's one of those things that you could never understand that pain until you go through it. it's so foreign to us, and we think "that will never happen to me" and it probably won't

but like i said, if you drink and drive, you will get caught. and you will have to pay money. every day i think about how better off i would be financially had i not gotten behind the wheel. that $1200 i had to pay my lawyer was the money i paid to my mom in rent, that she saved for me. i could've used that money for my apt now. i wouldn't be wondering how i'm going to pay for christmas gifts since i'm literally living paycheck to paycheck. i wouldn't have to find a second job just to help my $95 fine every month. i could afford to get my dog neutered, which he desperately needs. i could pay for his preventative meds. hell, i could pay for my meds (which cost $71 a month. i have to ask my mother to pay for them most of the time) i could afford cable and internet, instead of having to steal internet from a neighbor and staring at a blank tv screen. i'd like to get a blackberry or iphone, when my contract is up, but i can't afford to. when the doctors were trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with me, i was freaking out because i had no idea how i was going to pay for all the blood work they were having done, on top of office visits. i have to make my student loan payments "interest only" because i can no longer afford them. hell, i could afford to buy the real brand, instead of the store brand food i've been buying to save money. i'd really like to move out of hagerstown, but i can't until my probation is up. which is august.

when you put it in terms like that, people realize just how close to home it can affect them. so next time you plan on drinking and driving (and let's be honest, everyone plans on it), stop and ask yourself if you can legitimately afford it. could u pay for the lawyer, the court costs, the probation fees on top of whatever else you're paying? well, could you?