....except that i don't. at all. i've spent my entire life meticulously crafting my personality....one that all those teenage magazines said boys would adore. "don't be too boy crazy" "don't wait by the phone" "desperation is a terrible perfume" well guess what? those damn magazines were wrong! if you're a teenage girl reading this....don't listen to the magazines. because all of those girls that i made fun of in high school who were like this.....are all happily married. or engaged. or have long term boyfriends. me? nada. all i do is go around and bang whomever i want, leave before falling asleep and never call them on the pretense that "i don't want a relationship" the only thing is, i do. i want one. i'm tired of being lonely. and my standards are so ludicrously high, that they can never be met. coupled with the fact that i've never ever flirted, only ever said "bang me" as my pick up line and i am completely 100% fucked. my friend (a male) told me that guys want a girl who is cute and charming and fun. i am none of those things!!! i am spastic, loud, obnoxious, completely ungraceful and entirely awkward!
compare that with little miss-fake-tits-huge-smile-hair-flip.......i dont stand a fucking chance. i was always taught to be myself. not to play games or any of that bullshit. turns out, no, you're supposed to play games. they like that. so then it goes back to my high standards because i don't have the time or patience for anyone who likes to play cat and mouse.
so who wants to help me pick out my cats, for when i officially become crazy cat lady? any takers???
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