10/10/06

mindless reflections that really have no bearing on anything

so i've had a lot of time on my hands lately to think. not the crazy thinking i usually do, but more productive thinking. and it occured to me how sad it is when a relationship falls apart. (again, all types of relationships under the relationship umbrella) even if the relationship wasn't/isn't exactly the best for either party, it's still something to be mourned when you can pinpoint the exact moment in time that everything crumbled. then you're left in that crazy gray area where you're not quite sure what to do with yourself. you know that any attempt to ressuscitate said relationship would be futile but you also know that you're not ready to give up on it yet. you may be one step away from moving on, but you're still surrounded in gray. and all you can do is wait. you do whatever you can to pass the time.....twiddle your thumbs...masturbate...smoke....anything until that day arrives where you wake up and feel it in your body that you are finally out of the gray. the feeling won't last long, but you'll always have the knowledge that you know what being at peace with what happened feels like. then you'll yawn and stretch and scratch and face the day with new eyes.